Young Apprentice. Series 3, Week1

Yay it’s back. With a lacklustre adult apprentice this year, surely the junior version can bring some cheer this winter? Anyone? Bueller? Here’s a preview from Brett Domino to get you in the mood for mocking this year’s candidates already.

Brett Domino on Young Apprentice

And as ever, these 16 and 17 year olds seem far more grown up than I was at that age, or maybe I underestimate myself. Certainly a few of them still look like they need to grow into their skins a bit, but don’t worry they’re all super-confident no doubt about it, even the ostensibly ‘shy’ ones. Even the 11 A*-owning Maximilian. Is 11 A*s even that remarkable these days? I thought GCSEs had become too easy according to the newspapers. Yes Maximilian likes the Greek philosophers and has a number of middle names. But this black-haired Boris, with his academic qualifications and whiff of Tory about him, is actually a vintage and collectibles seller. Though (spoiler) that didn’t help him selling vintage (aka second hand, old clothes) at a car-boot sale. Even I, without any apprentice-type training, have managed to sell about £50 of old tat at a car boot sale, Maxi.

Yes, the task for this first week was for the boys vs girls (Odyssey vs Platinum) to sell some old clothes. Half the team had a stall in Westfield shopping centre, the other half at a car boot sale. They had to identify which clothes to sell where, had the budget to customise/tailor and wash as they saw fit, and then whoever got the most profit won. The girls won because they hardly spent any money but also sold more than the boys. The boys, led by fashion designer Patrick, spent far too much money tailoring old clothes – including as the programme focused heavily on his idea to get a Holborn tailor to put together a wet suit and kimono. This cost about £100 to make but they were unable to flog it. The other notable boy, other than the Bieber-lookalike Sean, who is apparently an award-winning publisher, or Stephen, the typical lanky sidekick, was David. A private tutor who didn’t know how to spell Odyssey, he also made a prime candidate to be called a ‘misogynist’ by Julia Gillard after making various crass comments about how men are the better sex, but then also described all men as dogs. He’s obviously a bit confused. Anyway, he seems good value and I’m sure he’ll be in for a few more weeks.

The girls were slightly more anonymous apart from blonde Maria, who seem ultra defensive and combative. I think it’s a girl’s year to win – although I thought that last year – but I’ve already decided that it will be a girl who wins this year. Project manager Ashleigh seems like she could go far. She works in a bridal shop and is training to be an accountant so stepped up to be PM. Not sure why Maria, who is apparently an online fashion dealer, didn’t volunteer. Anyway we had damp clothes as the girls couldn’t quite work out how to use the washing machines in the laundromat, Amy criticising a man’s girlfriend to her face, lots of high-pitched squealing and Lord Alan trying to be relevant by talking about Angry Birds. He obviously didn’t get the memo that Angry Birds was so 2011. Not a great episode for comedy or drama, but it always takes time for them and us to get embedded. I hope it’s as good as the last two series.

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