Britain’s Got Talent 2014

A disappointing year for Britain’s Got Talent. Maybe all the talent has dried up. In other years there have been one or two clear favourites and though this year Simon Cowell was happy to crow about how this was the most open competition yet, it actually meant that no act was particularly memorably or noteworthy. As ever, the running order on the show really influenced the voting and there was blatant manipulation by the producers.

Anyway here is my order of the finalists (in reverse order of my rankings):

11. Yanis Marshall, Arnaud and Mehdi

Three french men who danced in heels to a Beyonce medley. Simon Cowell buzzed them. Indicative of the importance of running order as they only went through their semi finals because they were last. Weren’t terrible but weren’t great or interesting.

10. Paddy and Nico

An old woman who dances and is thrown in the air. If she wasn’t “old” then this would be a terrible dance act. Amanda Holden’s golden buzzer act; Holden compared Paddy in some convuluted way to the men who fought in the D-Day landings which was a horrific analogy. Paddy also seemed very shocked when she came 9th, which was slightly amusing.

9. Lettice Rowbotham

She would be described as a posh violinist. She played to Evanescence. Ruined her performance by deciding to suddenly sing in the middle.

8. The Addict Initiative

A theatrical dance troupe – who did an interpretative dance of Hansel and Gretel. Simon Cowell compared them favourably to Diversity but they weren’t that good.  I’m intrigued by their name though and I wonder if it means more.

7. Darcy Oake

A Canadian illusionist. I thought his earlier acts were much better – appearing doves and then turning into a cameraman. For the final he did a standard Houdini-style escape from a straightjacket with the danger of a trap falling on him. Though the judges talked about their fear that he wouldn’t survive, of course he always would. Good production and he’ll obviously continue to have a good career but not that exciting.

6. Jon Clegg

An impressionist who always harked back to his father who had also been a comedian. He was the wild card entry and did a serviceable job including a good call back to another impressionist but not particularly memorable.

5. Collabro

The show was weighted towards singers this year. And the top 5 are the music acts – not because they were all great but more so because the other acts weren’t particularly noteworthy. Anyway I’ve put the winners, Collabro, in fifth place. They a five piece musical theatre act who sang two Les Mis songs in the competition – repeating the audition piece in the final. They were ok, but I was disappointed that they did the same song and seemed a bit shaky. They were put on in penultimate place and had a lot of goodwill going into the competition but I was surprised they won. I’m sure they’ll sell records but they’re really not that exciting and need to venture outside of Les Miserables territory.

4. Jack Pack

I didn’t like Jack Pack in their auditions but I quite liked their final performance (in comparison to some others), and I’m surprised I’ve put them as high as 4th.  A four-piece ‘swing’ musical act – it’s obvious that they’ll be groomed in the same way as the kind of cod-opera bands that Simon Cowell has managed (Il Divo). The one on the far right never speaks (except briefly in the VT in the final) which is funny.

3. Lucy Kay

An “opera” singer. She sang Nessun Dorma. And although she explained that it’s difficult to sing for a woman, it seemed very unoriginal. Isn’t that the song that Paul Potts won with? She came second, but she did perform last and did have a very clear voice. Potentially the new Katherine Jenkins, but not very exciting.

2. James Smith

A fifteen year old singer with a guitar. Surprisingly really good. He sang Try a Little Tenderness and had a really good voice. Not surprised that he didn’t get into the top three as he wasn’t promoted much and played in the middle. But I liked his performance.

1. Bars and Melody

Ok so the show shamelessly pulled at the heartstrings for their audition. They were Simon Cowell’s buzzer act. Their semi final performance to Sting’s Every Breath you Take misunderstood the lyrics of that song. They’ve been on the Ellen Show. They’re probably a bit of a one-hit wonder. But I like their anti-bullying song-  it could be used effectively – and they were good characters. It would have been good to see them win for the entertainment value of it. That is all.


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